Understanding your role and staying in your lane: The roles Women

Hello lovelees! My sincerest apologies for the late post. I had quite a busy day today, but nevermind that. Let's hop right in! Today's topic is knowing your role and staying in your lane concerning the roles of women. Get ready, because this will be contraversial at best!

Now-a-days, as women, we have nearly become (key word nearly) a mans' equal in many areas, although as far as career pay and things like that we are still lagging, but that's a completely different post. Back to the subject at hand. Because of the more recent years, and how we have climbed the career, educational, and financial ladders, we have developed the term "independent". We pay our own bills, we buy our own houses, and cars. We take care of our children on our own, we provide everything for ourselves, even orgasms. (Can I be real one time for the one time?) We have filled what we feel is every void and so many times you hear the phrase, "I don't need a man." or "What can a man really do for me? Nothing" Wrong.

Have you ever thought about what the term independent really means pertaining to these situations? Who have you become independent from? And was this meant to be temporary or permanent? GOD took us from Adam's rib FOR Adam, not to look at Adam like well I plowed this portion of the land on my own, I picked all those fruit on my own, so I don't need you. She was his help meet. A lot of us, and I say us because I was once there, have tasted this "independence" and now can not yield that "power" to a man, let alone attract one with this new attitude.

I used to seek counsel from an older woman, whom I loved very dearly. She was 65 and still going through the things we go through at our ages with her man, because she'd always been so independent. She had no idea how to be taken care of, and how to yield that power. One day we were talking and I was telling her about a man I was dealing with, and how I didn't need him, so if he wanted to walk he could walk. This had been a repetitive thing for me by the way. She told me, "That's your problem there. You would rather be respected than cherished." I told her, "a man has to definitely respect me." She said, "well of course he has to respect you dear. But you want him to respect you on the same level he would respect a man, instead of him cherishing you the way he should a woman. If you keep playing the man, you will keep attracting the men who don't mind playing the woman's role". What is the woman's role? Being taken care of, staying home with children, allowing the man to be the provider and protector, and trusting him to have your best interest at heart. My mind was blown!

I'd seriously thought about everything she'd said to me, and looked back on past relationships with men and compared. Majority of the time it was exactly how she'd said. I'd run across the kind of men who constantly felt as though it was okay for a woman to support them, to pay for them, to chase them... And many times we do, because we'd rather someone, anyone, to be there versus sticking it out alone and waiting for a REAL man to come along. Also, I began to notice that a lot the issue came from my attitude. The men that I could control (the ones that played my role instead of a mans) would always do exactly what I wanted because I wore the pants. And if you're a woman like me, you're strong, but you'd like a man to be strongER than you are. The men that I had come across that were REAL men, I'd mistaken their masculinity, as an attitude, trying to control me or my life, or trying to change me. And while sometimes some men do try that, alot of times its just you hitting a brick wall with a man who is showing you that he knows his role, and that he will not change that. You will respect him.

How do you know if you're too "independent"? Here are some key clues:

• If you stay screaming I don't need a man, but couldn't get one (not the kind you want anyway) to save your life
• If you don't know how to yield power to a man, such as letting him pay, open doors for you, allowing him to make some decisions for you without always having your input involved.
• If when he suggests something for you to do, you feel like he's "telling" you what to do.
• If when he says no, you tell him you didn't need him to do it for you anyway because you can do everything yourself just like you did before you met him. (lol yep all of that)

You can scream independence all day, until you get home alone on nights like this under those covers, and its cold as hell out and there's no one to hold you. I know you see those women out with their men, and you think, "Damn, I have a career, my own degree, money, and house. How did she get him and I can't get one" Notice that many women, old school, let their husbands be men. They still cook for them, they let them take out the trash, they let them spend their money, they let them open doors, they don't always have to have the last word. No you shouldn't be a house mouse, but we tend to always want to have a one up on what a man says. Bottom line we need our men, the real ones. Men, believe it or not, make us better women, and vice versa. But there can not be 2 protectors and providers in a relationship. You have to ask yourself do I want to be respected or cherished? Do I want to be respected as a man but also treated as though I HAVE to do everything on my own? Or do I want to be cherished as a lady and treated as though I deserve the world and be treated delicately? You have to evaluate you and see where you stand.

Remember ladies, just my opinion? What do I know right? LOL. I'm just a gal living life everyday like ya'll!! Comment, and share! GOD BLESS and thanks for reading! See ya'll tomorrow.