Saturday, January 17, 2015
Free book give away on January 23rd
Ladies and gentlemen!!! My birthday is fast approaching!! JANUARY 23!! Do NOT forget the date as on this day I will be running a one day promo where you can download a copy of my book, What Are the Chances, for free! That's right! Free 99! If you haven't gotten your copy and you cannot wait until January 23, feel free to purchase it for 5.99 on amazon.com/author/salenavasquez along with my latest addition, Married Men for just 2.99!!! Let's celebrate my birthday with a gift from me to you! One day only!! Share share share!
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Hey guys and gals!! I know its been a while!!! I published a book on the 1st, and I wanted you all to know where to find it!!! Check it out below!!
Chante', Isabel, and Cynthia all have one thing in common: Sheraud Starks. Chante's his wife, Isabel is the secret mother of his child, and Cynthia is a sex loving poet who has a thing for her best friend Isabel's baby's daddy. Emotions flow and hands swing. Who will get Sheraud after all in part one of the story?
If you haven't already gotten your copy of What Are the Chances, scroll over to Amazon and get yours today for just 5.99.
Amazon.com/author/salenavasquez
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Side Dishes to a Main Course: Is being the side chick ever OK?
Oh my loves forgive me! I have been gone this last day or 2. But I am back, and I come bearing gifts! Another juicy topic that we all want to know about! Lets get started!
As many of us know, the show "Mary Jane" is back on BET. (WHOOOOHOOOO) And the show is basically centered around her being a side chick. (At first unknowingly, and then knowingly). Believe it or not, many if not all of us, have been in a situation similar to this. I know I have and more than once I must admit. I have been with a man who I could have easily fallen in love with, only to find out that the man of my dreams was either married or already involved seriously with someone else. It was devastating to say the least. And sad to say there were times where even after I'd found out I'd gone back, low self esteem or lonely days no doubt, and been with a man I knew belonged to someone else.
Now-a-days there are women who seek out men who have someone else so that they dont have to deal with the hassles of a real relationship. And while to some of us it may seem wrong, to others its perfectly fine.
So the question is? Who is right? Is being the side chick ever OK?
This question has no specific correct answer. It is a matter of opinion at best. Think about the show Scandal. Many of us are in love with Olivia and Fitz. Why? Because its passionate and they go to all of these extents to show their love. And many times everyone looks at Millie like she's the villian, but after all Fitz is in fact HER husband. What this says to me is people often favor passion and "true love" over what is "right". We love to see this, but imagine how the real life Millies feel? How hurt they are by their men being in love with another woman.
And then there are women who have no idea that their significant others are with other women. Is it fine to keep a side chick then? Does the old age saying, "what she doesnt know wont hurt her" stand true in this?
What about the side chicks that think eventually they can convince a man to leave his wife for them? This used to be something that people would say was foolish thinking, but in the more recent years, they have actually been leaving their wives for side chicks.
I want your opinions on this honestly. I can say what I think, but then I cant say how I'd feel because I know how I've felt before. Deception is hard to accept when you're in love. What do you ladies think? Do you think that side chicks are acceptable or if at anytime they are okay to have? What if you were the main chick? What if you thought you were the main chick and then found out you were the side chick? Would that be easy to walk away from? I want opinions!! Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to your answers!
As many of us know, the show "Mary Jane" is back on BET. (WHOOOOHOOOO) And the show is basically centered around her being a side chick. (At first unknowingly, and then knowingly). Believe it or not, many if not all of us, have been in a situation similar to this. I know I have and more than once I must admit. I have been with a man who I could have easily fallen in love with, only to find out that the man of my dreams was either married or already involved seriously with someone else. It was devastating to say the least. And sad to say there were times where even after I'd found out I'd gone back, low self esteem or lonely days no doubt, and been with a man I knew belonged to someone else.
Now-a-days there are women who seek out men who have someone else so that they dont have to deal with the hassles of a real relationship. And while to some of us it may seem wrong, to others its perfectly fine.
So the question is? Who is right? Is being the side chick ever OK?
This question has no specific correct answer. It is a matter of opinion at best. Think about the show Scandal. Many of us are in love with Olivia and Fitz. Why? Because its passionate and they go to all of these extents to show their love. And many times everyone looks at Millie like she's the villian, but after all Fitz is in fact HER husband. What this says to me is people often favor passion and "true love" over what is "right". We love to see this, but imagine how the real life Millies feel? How hurt they are by their men being in love with another woman.
And then there are women who have no idea that their significant others are with other women. Is it fine to keep a side chick then? Does the old age saying, "what she doesnt know wont hurt her" stand true in this?
What about the side chicks that think eventually they can convince a man to leave his wife for them? This used to be something that people would say was foolish thinking, but in the more recent years, they have actually been leaving their wives for side chicks.
I want your opinions on this honestly. I can say what I think, but then I cant say how I'd feel because I know how I've felt before. Deception is hard to accept when you're in love. What do you ladies think? Do you think that side chicks are acceptable or if at anytime they are okay to have? What if you were the main chick? What if you thought you were the main chick and then found out you were the side chick? Would that be easy to walk away from? I want opinions!! Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to your answers!
Monday, January 6, 2014
Understanding your role and staying in your lane: The roles Women
Hello lovelees! My sincerest apologies for the late post. I had quite a busy day today, but nevermind that. Let's hop right in! Today's topic is knowing your role and staying in your lane concerning the roles of women. Get ready, because this will be contraversial at best!
Now-a-days, as women, we have nearly become (key word nearly) a mans' equal in many areas, although as far as career pay and things like that we are still lagging, but that's a completely different post. Back to the subject at hand. Because of the more recent years, and how we have climbed the career, educational, and financial ladders, we have developed the term "independent". We pay our own bills, we buy our own houses, and cars. We take care of our children on our own, we provide everything for ourselves, even orgasms. (Can I be real one time for the one time?) We have filled what we feel is every void and so many times you hear the phrase, "I don't need a man." or "What can a man really do for me? Nothing" Wrong.
Have you ever thought about what the term independent really means pertaining to these situations? Who have you become independent from? And was this meant to be temporary or permanent? GOD took us from Adam's rib FOR Adam, not to look at Adam like well I plowed this portion of the land on my own, I picked all those fruit on my own, so I don't need you. She was his help meet. A lot of us, and I say us because I was once there, have tasted this "independence" and now can not yield that "power" to a man, let alone attract one with this new attitude.
I used to seek counsel from an older woman, whom I loved very dearly. She was 65 and still going through the things we go through at our ages with her man, because she'd always been so independent. She had no idea how to be taken care of, and how to yield that power. One day we were talking and I was telling her about a man I was dealing with, and how I didn't need him, so if he wanted to walk he could walk. This had been a repetitive thing for me by the way. She told me, "That's your problem there. You would rather be respected than cherished." I told her, "a man has to definitely respect me." She said, "well of course he has to respect you dear. But you want him to respect you on the same level he would respect a man, instead of him cherishing you the way he should a woman. If you keep playing the man, you will keep attracting the men who don't mind playing the woman's role". What is the woman's role? Being taken care of, staying home with children, allowing the man to be the provider and protector, and trusting him to have your best interest at heart. My mind was blown!
I'd seriously thought about everything she'd said to me, and looked back on past relationships with men and compared. Majority of the time it was exactly how she'd said. I'd run across the kind of men who constantly felt as though it was okay for a woman to support them, to pay for them, to chase them... And many times we do, because we'd rather someone, anyone, to be there versus sticking it out alone and waiting for a REAL man to come along. Also, I began to notice that a lot the issue came from my attitude. The men that I could control (the ones that played my role instead of a mans) would always do exactly what I wanted because I wore the pants. And if you're a woman like me, you're strong, but you'd like a man to be strongER than you are. The men that I had come across that were REAL men, I'd mistaken their masculinity, as an attitude, trying to control me or my life, or trying to change me. And while sometimes some men do try that, alot of times its just you hitting a brick wall with a man who is showing you that he knows his role, and that he will not change that. You will respect him.
How do you know if you're too "independent"? Here are some key clues:
You can scream independence all day, until you get home alone on nights like this under those covers, and its cold as hell out and there's no one to hold you. I know you see those women out with their men, and you think, "Damn, I have a career, my own degree, money, and house. How did she get him and I can't get one" Notice that many women, old school, let their husbands be men. They still cook for them, they let them take out the trash, they let them spend their money, they let them open doors, they don't always have to have the last word. No you shouldn't be a house mouse, but we tend to always want to have a one up on what a man says. Bottom line we need our men, the real ones. Men, believe it or not, make us better women, and vice versa. But there can not be 2 protectors and providers in a relationship. You have to ask yourself do I want to be respected or cherished? Do I want to be respected as a man but also treated as though I HAVE to do everything on my own? Or do I want to be cherished as a lady and treated as though I deserve the world and be treated delicately? You have to evaluate you and see where you stand.
Remember ladies, just my opinion? What do I know right? LOL. I'm just a gal living life everyday like ya'll!! Comment, and share! GOD BLESS and thanks for reading! See ya'll tomorrow.
Now-a-days, as women, we have nearly become (key word nearly) a mans' equal in many areas, although as far as career pay and things like that we are still lagging, but that's a completely different post. Back to the subject at hand. Because of the more recent years, and how we have climbed the career, educational, and financial ladders, we have developed the term "independent". We pay our own bills, we buy our own houses, and cars. We take care of our children on our own, we provide everything for ourselves, even orgasms. (Can I be real one time for the one time?) We have filled what we feel is every void and so many times you hear the phrase, "I don't need a man." or "What can a man really do for me? Nothing" Wrong.
Have you ever thought about what the term independent really means pertaining to these situations? Who have you become independent from? And was this meant to be temporary or permanent? GOD took us from Adam's rib FOR Adam, not to look at Adam like well I plowed this portion of the land on my own, I picked all those fruit on my own, so I don't need you. She was his help meet. A lot of us, and I say us because I was once there, have tasted this "independence" and now can not yield that "power" to a man, let alone attract one with this new attitude.
I used to seek counsel from an older woman, whom I loved very dearly. She was 65 and still going through the things we go through at our ages with her man, because she'd always been so independent. She had no idea how to be taken care of, and how to yield that power. One day we were talking and I was telling her about a man I was dealing with, and how I didn't need him, so if he wanted to walk he could walk. This had been a repetitive thing for me by the way. She told me, "That's your problem there. You would rather be respected than cherished." I told her, "a man has to definitely respect me." She said, "well of course he has to respect you dear. But you want him to respect you on the same level he would respect a man, instead of him cherishing you the way he should a woman. If you keep playing the man, you will keep attracting the men who don't mind playing the woman's role". What is the woman's role? Being taken care of, staying home with children, allowing the man to be the provider and protector, and trusting him to have your best interest at heart. My mind was blown!
I'd seriously thought about everything she'd said to me, and looked back on past relationships with men and compared. Majority of the time it was exactly how she'd said. I'd run across the kind of men who constantly felt as though it was okay for a woman to support them, to pay for them, to chase them... And many times we do, because we'd rather someone, anyone, to be there versus sticking it out alone and waiting for a REAL man to come along. Also, I began to notice that a lot the issue came from my attitude. The men that I could control (the ones that played my role instead of a mans) would always do exactly what I wanted because I wore the pants. And if you're a woman like me, you're strong, but you'd like a man to be strongER than you are. The men that I had come across that were REAL men, I'd mistaken their masculinity, as an attitude, trying to control me or my life, or trying to change me. And while sometimes some men do try that, alot of times its just you hitting a brick wall with a man who is showing you that he knows his role, and that he will not change that. You will respect him.
How do you know if you're too "independent"? Here are some key clues:
- If you stay screaming I don't need a man, but couldn't get one (not the kind you want anyway) to save your life
- If you don't know how to yield power to a man, such as letting him pay, open doors for you, allowing him to make some decisions for you without always having your input involved.
- If when he suggests something for you to do, you feel like he's "telling" you what to do.
- If when he says no, you tell him you didn't need him to do it for you anyway because you can do everything yourself just like you did before you met him. (lol yep all of that)
You can scream independence all day, until you get home alone on nights like this under those covers, and its cold as hell out and there's no one to hold you. I know you see those women out with their men, and you think, "Damn, I have a career, my own degree, money, and house. How did she get him and I can't get one" Notice that many women, old school, let their husbands be men. They still cook for them, they let them take out the trash, they let them spend their money, they let them open doors, they don't always have to have the last word. No you shouldn't be a house mouse, but we tend to always want to have a one up on what a man says. Bottom line we need our men, the real ones. Men, believe it or not, make us better women, and vice versa. But there can not be 2 protectors and providers in a relationship. You have to ask yourself do I want to be respected or cherished? Do I want to be respected as a man but also treated as though I HAVE to do everything on my own? Or do I want to be cherished as a lady and treated as though I deserve the world and be treated delicately? You have to evaluate you and see where you stand.
Remember ladies, just my opinion? What do I know right? LOL. I'm just a gal living life everyday like ya'll!! Comment, and share! GOD BLESS and thanks for reading! See ya'll tomorrow.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
It's in the past...right??-Advice on Just How Much of Your Past You Should Disclose to Your Current or Future Partner
Good Morning beautiful people! Today I want to touch on the subject of just how much of your past you should reveal to the person you are currently with or plan to be with in the future. I give advice a lot, and I do mean A LOT! This subject has to be the 4th most talked about thing I have encountered in conversations with people I have come across, because everybody tends to have the same opinion about this, from what I've seen, until they actually are questioned about their past from their lover. Everyone I have run into has this idea that "well it was before you, so it shouldn't concern you" or "it's my business, I don't go looking into what you'd done before you met me". And in some cases this is true. It will always be YOUR past and YOUR business, however certain things are Many people claim to not care about what their significant other did before they met them. This is SUPER common UNTIL the shoe is on the other foot. Oh, what's that you ask? How can the shoe be on the other foot? Well sure I'll give you an example since you've begged me!
Exhibit A:
Girlfriend: Honey what do you want for dinner?
Boyfriend: How about the same shit you cooked John Doe when you were with him?
Girlfriend: Huh? What are you talking about?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I found out yall used to kick it. (I'm really forcing it here lol) Why didn't you tell me? Thats my frat brother.
Girlfriend: How in the hell was I supposed to know you knew John? That was years ago when I was in college, long before I met you.
Boyfriend: Well, you still should have told me. Now everytime I see my boys they're gonna be cracking jokes on me, especially him. (stomps off)
Girlfriend: *rolls eyes* Bye Felicia. (couldnt help this part)
Now yes, something's we can not control. If you don't know, how would you be able to tell your significant other? But there are signs. Like for instance, when Girlfriend found out her Boyfriend's frat, she could have carefully and strategically suggested that she used to date someone of the same frat. Would this have broken them up? Maybe. Who knows. The Guy Code is tricky sometimes. Now I bet all the women are like, "No I wouldn't have done that. I can't help that I dated someone he knew." Okay, now let's turn the story around. :)
Exhibit B:
Girlfriend: (Comes in the house pissed and heads straight for the living room where boyfriend is watching game with his home boy(s) and stands straight in front of the TV with her hands on her hips)
Boyfriend: Hey baby. How was work? (carefully because he knows that look and he doesnt want to get embarrassed mean while his home boy pulls out his phone and pretends to look for something because he knows that look too lmao)
Girlfriend: Oh it was great. (sarcastically of course) I ran into your little "friend" today.
Boyfriend: What friend?
Girlfriend: Jane (raises eyebrows)
Boyfriend: (Remembers jane but tries to pretend not to) Jane who?
Girlfriend: Damn how many janes you know? Jane Doe.
Boyfriend: Oh her. (downplays it) What about her?
Girlfriend: Yeah, oh her. Mm hm. Why you didn't tell me ya'll used to talk? I had to find out from all them other petty ass women in my department. No wonder she was always giving me side looks.
Boyfriend: How was I supposed to know ya'll worked together? I didn't know you knew her.
Girlfriend: Now all them little hoes at work gon' have something to say, because everybody knew but me. Thats the shit I be talking about. (stomps off to call home girl and bitch about it)
Boyfriend: (looks at homeboy whose laughing) Man shut up. She trippin.
Homeboy: Man Jane ass used to be fine as hell.
Hahahahaha that story was such a force, but don't act like thats not how we are especially when it comes to something concerning our men. Just like Girlfriend in Exhibit A could have asked about the frat, Boyfriend in Exhibit B could have asked about the job.
You see people, after hearing different stories, a few things I have found out are:
*If people won't ever get found out, they won't ever tell
*Pride and embarrassment fuel a man's reasoning for wanting to know
*Selfishness and embarrassment fuel a woman's reasoning for wanting to know
Those previous stories were stories that basically couldn't have been helped. But on a serious note there are certain things you should share about your past with your significant others such as:
Now everything else I feel, strictly my opinion, is solely up to you in disclosing. Especially if they are not on that list. However, one of the thing not on my list is, of course, SEXUAL HISTORY. If you don't fall into the top list, in my opinion, you're sexual history is your business and should not be disclosed unless you want it to. For the more popular girls or guys (who lived a little more than people felt they should) there may be times where someone or someoneS know your significant other and of course gossip. At that time you should be completely honest, but use discretion. Remember, we all had a little ho in us at some point. (Yes, she said Ho) You can not be embarrassed about your life, however your significant other can sometimes. So be as honest as your relationship currently allows, and communicate, this way there aren't any skeletons that someone can expose.
Wow this was long. I had such a fun time doing it! LOL. I laughed alot too. Okay well, I'm sure there are alot of opinions (agreeing and disagreeing) So feel free to comment, and leave your opinion. Nothing too disrespectful or crazy. My delete button works. Also, I'm sure there are some other things that should be listed on the mandatory do tell list. List them if I missed them! Love you guys. God Bless, and THANKS FOR READING.
Exhibit A:
Girlfriend: Honey what do you want for dinner?
Boyfriend: How about the same shit you cooked John Doe when you were with him?
Girlfriend: Huh? What are you talking about?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I found out yall used to kick it. (I'm really forcing it here lol) Why didn't you tell me? Thats my frat brother.
Girlfriend: How in the hell was I supposed to know you knew John? That was years ago when I was in college, long before I met you.
Boyfriend: Well, you still should have told me. Now everytime I see my boys they're gonna be cracking jokes on me, especially him. (stomps off)
Girlfriend: *rolls eyes* Bye Felicia. (couldnt help this part)
Now yes, something's we can not control. If you don't know, how would you be able to tell your significant other? But there are signs. Like for instance, when Girlfriend found out her Boyfriend's frat, she could have carefully and strategically suggested that she used to date someone of the same frat. Would this have broken them up? Maybe. Who knows. The Guy Code is tricky sometimes. Now I bet all the women are like, "No I wouldn't have done that. I can't help that I dated someone he knew." Okay, now let's turn the story around. :)
Exhibit B:
Girlfriend: (Comes in the house pissed and heads straight for the living room where boyfriend is watching game with his home boy(s) and stands straight in front of the TV with her hands on her hips)
Boyfriend: Hey baby. How was work? (carefully because he knows that look and he doesnt want to get embarrassed mean while his home boy pulls out his phone and pretends to look for something because he knows that look too lmao)
Girlfriend: Oh it was great. (sarcastically of course) I ran into your little "friend" today.
Boyfriend: What friend?
Girlfriend: Jane (raises eyebrows)
Boyfriend: (Remembers jane but tries to pretend not to) Jane who?
Girlfriend: Damn how many janes you know? Jane Doe.
Boyfriend: Oh her. (downplays it) What about her?
Girlfriend: Yeah, oh her. Mm hm. Why you didn't tell me ya'll used to talk? I had to find out from all them other petty ass women in my department. No wonder she was always giving me side looks.
Boyfriend: How was I supposed to know ya'll worked together? I didn't know you knew her.
Girlfriend: Now all them little hoes at work gon' have something to say, because everybody knew but me. Thats the shit I be talking about. (stomps off to call home girl and bitch about it)
Boyfriend: (looks at homeboy whose laughing) Man shut up. She trippin.
Homeboy: Man Jane ass used to be fine as hell.
Hahahahaha that story was such a force, but don't act like thats not how we are especially when it comes to something concerning our men. Just like Girlfriend in Exhibit A could have asked about the frat, Boyfriend in Exhibit B could have asked about the job.
You see people, after hearing different stories, a few things I have found out are:
*If people won't ever get found out, they won't ever tell
*Pride and embarrassment fuel a man's reasoning for wanting to know
*Selfishness and embarrassment fuel a woman's reasoning for wanting to know
Those previous stories were stories that basically couldn't have been helped. But on a serious note there are certain things you should share about your past with your significant others such as:
- If you've had a sex change. This is important because you do not want to deceive someone into loving you without giving them the full you.
- If you've had children that you've either given up, or do not take care of.
- If you're HIV positive or have some type sexually transmitted disease that can not be cured. It is important to keep others safe as well as yourself
- If you've had/or have a stalker, or crazy ex, or baby mom/dad who won't leave you alone. These people cause more problems than you know.
- If you've been to prison, and for what crimes.
- If you've had sex with or dated a close friend, family member, or anything like that, to your significant other.
- If you've done porn.
Now everything else I feel, strictly my opinion, is solely up to you in disclosing. Especially if they are not on that list. However, one of the thing not on my list is, of course, SEXUAL HISTORY. If you don't fall into the top list, in my opinion, you're sexual history is your business and should not be disclosed unless you want it to. For the more popular girls or guys (who lived a little more than people felt they should) there may be times where someone or someoneS know your significant other and of course gossip. At that time you should be completely honest, but use discretion. Remember, we all had a little ho in us at some point. (Yes, she said Ho) You can not be embarrassed about your life, however your significant other can sometimes. So be as honest as your relationship currently allows, and communicate, this way there aren't any skeletons that someone can expose.
Wow this was long. I had such a fun time doing it! LOL. I laughed alot too. Okay well, I'm sure there are alot of opinions (agreeing and disagreeing) So feel free to comment, and leave your opinion. Nothing too disrespectful or crazy. My delete button works. Also, I'm sure there are some other things that should be listed on the mandatory do tell list. List them if I missed them! Love you guys. God Bless, and THANKS FOR READING.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
What A Fabulous Way To Start Off 2014!
Well, well, well.. here we are! First, I'd like to say welcome to the wonderful New Year! All these endless possiblities (that you didn't need to wait to the new year to have). Welcome to my blog. My name is Salena Raye, for those of you who didn't know. I guess I should probably tell a little about myself before I jump right into my first topic? Okay if you insist. I am soon to be 27 (oh no thats 30 if we're rounding by 10's :( ) I have a wonderful son. (almost 2, but already in terrible 2's) I am a veteran (hooah) and I am a full time student. I have great faith in GOD, and try daily to better my relationship with him. And I'm tons of fun to be around. Like seriously, I'm the shit when it comes to friends lol. Anyways on to the next subject. I think its only fitting to talk about New Year's resolutions considering it is just after the New Year and everybody makes one (or claims to not make one)
Although you do not have to wait until a New Year to start anything (since the time is now or some shit like that) I love the idea of beginning a new 365 days doing something that you weren't doing in the previous 365 days. The problem with that is habit. If you are habitual, and most people are, at doing something you mean to change, there is a greater chance of you failing to keep your resolution. So for my first post I'd like to just give a few tips on how to keep a resolution.
#1- Make your resolution realistic. I mean really. Don't come up with some shit like I want to be a millionaire by the end of the year, but you have no plan, don't work, aren't looking for work, etc. If you want to lose weight, but arent working out or eating right then youre not being realistic. Make your resolutions something challenging and just out of your reach so that you can push your limitations to reach it.
#2- Stay motivated. Because people constantly talk about resolutions and then forget about them probably by the second week of the year, there will be many naysayers. Keep your ears closed and your eyes open. Sometimes your only confidence has to come from you. So if you have to motivate yourself, get to it. Think of what your resolution is, why it is your resolution, and what it takes to get there, and do it!
#3- Develop a new habit in 21 days. Studies show that if you do something everyday for 21 days you develop it into a habit. Remember that first 2 weeks is the hardest. If you want to get better at something, consciously do it for 21 days in a row, without breaks to develop a habit of doing it, therefore making it easier. Once its engraved in your mind, itll be natural.
#4- Do it for yourself. Whatever resolution you come up with, let it be for you and no one else. People change, and so do situations. You need to do things you want to do because you want to do them, not because of someone elses influence.
#5- Trust yourself. You're spirit and body know what you want and what you need. Trust in yourself to succeed in these things and to follow through with what you want to do. You will be surprised with yourself.
That is all for the very first blog. I thank you all for reading. Tune in tomorrow for something new, probably about relationships. I always talk about that. If you want me to discuss anything in particular, hit me up on facebook at Salena Raye. Thanks so much for reading. God bless you and yours and your new year.
Although you do not have to wait until a New Year to start anything (since the time is now or some shit like that) I love the idea of beginning a new 365 days doing something that you weren't doing in the previous 365 days. The problem with that is habit. If you are habitual, and most people are, at doing something you mean to change, there is a greater chance of you failing to keep your resolution. So for my first post I'd like to just give a few tips on how to keep a resolution.
#1- Make your resolution realistic. I mean really. Don't come up with some shit like I want to be a millionaire by the end of the year, but you have no plan, don't work, aren't looking for work, etc. If you want to lose weight, but arent working out or eating right then youre not being realistic. Make your resolutions something challenging and just out of your reach so that you can push your limitations to reach it.
#2- Stay motivated. Because people constantly talk about resolutions and then forget about them probably by the second week of the year, there will be many naysayers. Keep your ears closed and your eyes open. Sometimes your only confidence has to come from you. So if you have to motivate yourself, get to it. Think of what your resolution is, why it is your resolution, and what it takes to get there, and do it!
#3- Develop a new habit in 21 days. Studies show that if you do something everyday for 21 days you develop it into a habit. Remember that first 2 weeks is the hardest. If you want to get better at something, consciously do it for 21 days in a row, without breaks to develop a habit of doing it, therefore making it easier. Once its engraved in your mind, itll be natural.
#4- Do it for yourself. Whatever resolution you come up with, let it be for you and no one else. People change, and so do situations. You need to do things you want to do because you want to do them, not because of someone elses influence.
#5- Trust yourself. You're spirit and body know what you want and what you need. Trust in yourself to succeed in these things and to follow through with what you want to do. You will be surprised with yourself.
That is all for the very first blog. I thank you all for reading. Tune in tomorrow for something new, probably about relationships. I always talk about that. If you want me to discuss anything in particular, hit me up on facebook at Salena Raye. Thanks so much for reading. God bless you and yours and your new year.
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